Are you searching for a partner? Who is Right for you? What are your particular parameters for an ideal or optimal mate? What physical attributes, personality characteristics, educational and socioeconomic benchmarks? But we are getting ahead of ourselves. This is not the starting point. A wise woman taught me to first write a love letter to top all love letters to nobody in particular:


“My Beloved, My Sweet, My Partner…

You make my world a better place in which to awaken day upon day. And all my doings and comings and goings find deeper meaning in the embrace of our partings and reunions. My friend, my confidante… I cannot imagine a day without you. My lover, my family… I cherish the home we make. Drawn together by the call to be our finest selves in each other’s company, let us always tend the bridge that brings our intimacy along the shores of our individual lives. You are the greatest gift in my life.

I put my hand in your hand and together we can do what we could not do alone…
Vanessa”

Then, she said, put your own name as the recipient on the love letter and give it to yourself. This is how you long for love. Now give that love to yourself. Further, I challenge you to love yourself unconditionally or as a Higher Power would love you.


To love ourselves unconditionally does not mean to be self-involved at the cost of other relationships; it means to be self-invested for the sake of all that is worthwhile. To love ourselves unconditionally does not mean to ignore or excuse our faults; it means to take responsibility to remedy our shortcomings. In tandem with unconditional love, we must be at peace with ourselves–our age, our bodies, our mistakes, our losses, our fortunes–especially that which we cannot control. We may wish to initiate change in some aspect of our lives. If so, then be inspired to be right with yourself.


To be right with yourself is to love and be at peace with yourself. You can then be Ms. Right or Mr. Right. To borrow from Gandhi’s “Be the change you wish to see in the world” with adaptation:

  • Be the LOVE you wish to see in the world.
  • Be the PEACE you wish to see in the world.
  • Be the RIGHT PARTNER you wish to see in the world.

Looking for a partner–someone who is right for you–has everything to do with being right with yourself and how you conduct your life. Deepen your unconditional love for yourself and be at peace with yourself, and you will permit only such relationships as support such love and peace. This is the starting point, and it is never too late to start.


If you wish to deepen your love for yourself, to add quality to your life, and to begin as Ms. Right or Mr. Right, please Contact me, Vanessa Landau, Resiliency Trainer, for Co-Creative Transformation (Resiliency Coaching) and I will guide you in making a more loving journey.

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