Posts tagged Training Principle

Raise Your IQ, Genius!

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“Okay, so you’re a rocket scientist. That don’t impress me much.” – Shania Twain


You have got genius inside of you! That is a fact. Discovering the roots of that genius and cultivating it depends upon your IQ. I am not referring to the standardized, culturally-biased Intelligence Quotient. Neither am I referring to any particular cognitive talent you may have; there are plenty of talented people who forfeit the strength, endurance, and power to develop their gift(s). What sets the thriv-ers apart from the languish-ers is their Investedness Quotient.


Just as money invested wisely yields dividends that contribute to personal wealth, your Self invested wisely yields dividends that contribute to personal enrichment. When people criticize others saying–“She is so self-centered.” “He is so self-involved.” “How selfish can you be?”–they speak about a particular kind of behavior pattern that alienates others. Self-investedness, however, conveys a focus on the Self regarding what matters most to us, what relationships and activities we pursue, and what dedication of time we allow based on our values, principles, and ideals.


I know a young man who is a self-involved drug addict. (As it happens, addicts tend to have low Investedness Quotients.) When I inquired into his motives for developing a drug habit, he blamed it on boredom. My response, had I the opportunity to do it over, would have been, “Get a LIFE, man!” This perpetually regressive adolescent, no doubt, self-medicates pain that he discusses with nobody. But more than that, he lacks self-investedness, and this down-fall defines him unless and until he takes steps to invest in himself.


What do such steps look like?

  • A rational decision to love ourselves enough not to pollute and impair ourselves.
  • A regular involvement in pro-social activities–to leave situations better than how we encountered them.
  • A daily commitment to be of service to at least one other human being.
  • A generous dedication of time and attention to a rewarding skill or ability.
  • A judicious willingness to share about our pain (sorrows, frustrations, anger, etc.) with a person wiser than us.
  • A heartfelt endeavor to assume responsibility for shortcomings and to make amends as warranted.
  • A bold admission that, if there is a Higher Power, each of us is not it.
  • A continuing inquiry into what these steps look like in our uniquely personal experience.



As for the genius inside us, it is our birthright. We may not conceive of its wherewithal, but we are called to find it. Just as the best possible way to manage a problem–the optimal coping strategy–always exists, and we are called to find it. We were not made to languish but rather to thrive. To the degree that we are disconnected from that, we need to raise our IQ. Take a risk. You are the best investment you could ever make! (https://twitter.com/ Good_Vibes_Only)

If you are ready and willing to self-reflect, re-evaluate your behavior, and make judicious decisions about your Life, please Contact Vanessa Landau, Resiliency Trainer, for Co-Creative Transformation, and we will develop a “portfolio” that makes you rich.

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Your Claim To Fame

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The greatest gift that we can ever give to people and the world is the example of our lifeour claim to fame. It is the only gift that, as individuals, we alone can give. The gift speaks to matters of character. Everything that we ever embody–qualities, values, principles, beliefs, opinions, ethics, morals–colors our responsibilities (our ability to respond) and contributions, and our reputation stems from the pattern that we thereby establish.


When people discover that I have a trauma background–challenges, hardships, adversities, illness, injustice–and they also discover that I have become a strong, spiritual, insightful, compassionate, courageous, resourceful, and tenacious individual rather than a bitter and brutalizing one, people ask me how I managed to embrace a Loving legacy.


First, I must confess that, in my darkest times, I have been bitter and brutalizing. There are sins of speech and deed for which I must account, and I live with the burden of remembrance for inexcusable behavior. My conscience, despite apologies, rages at me. Because of this, self-reflection, re-evaluation of my actions, and genuine amends shape my personal development.


Despite occasions of contemptible behavior, my reputation and the overarching example of my life demonstrate my conviction to uplift myself and others. From an early age, I nurtured a curiosity about people who, despite disadvantage, forged an honorable and admirable legacy—Helen Keller, Anne Frank, Martin Luther King, Jr., and everyday people spotlighted in the media. The gifts of others’ examples prompted my resiliency. I further owe my resiliency to my ability to self-reflect, my willingness to seek recovery and accept help, my capacity and desire to give and receive love, and my cultivated gratitude.


Clearly, my life has not proceeded as planned. The story of my life defies all early indicators that I would go on to enjoy a priceless marital partnership, to contribute to society through a stellar career, and to craft a retirement of continuing contributions. Yet there remains a single legacy that I aspire to leave in my wake–this above all else–that I chose Love and loved well.


What is the gift of the example of your lifeyour claim to fame? What is the first next right thing that needs to happen within you in order for you to realize this? What reputation stems from your responsibilities and contributions? What is the legacy you aspire to leave in your wake? We await your inimitable reply!

If you would like to build your character, shape your reputation, and forge a legacy, please Contact me, Vanessa Landau, Resiliency Trainer, for Co-Creative Transformation, and we will claim your fame together.

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Find G.O.D. Now


Religion is a sticky subject in polite company. Conjecture and discussions about God, commandments, heaven and salvation, hell and damnation, and endless interpretations can be divisive. Sometimes people need so desperately to feel correct on such matters that they seek to persuade others to their point of view, thus affirming their religion.

I believe that there are as many religious paths as there are people and at best we can inquire into the common ground between and among us. In my opinion, GOD is a three-letter word for what a person elevates in righteousness (worships) in spirit and/or life, and we see this not so much in congregational worship as we do in day-to-day action.

Some people elevate money. Some elevate food. Some elevate sex. Some elevate drugs. Some elevate work. Some elevate principles and teachings. Some elevate their own mind. Some elevate nature. Some elevate cynicism. Some elevate power over others. Some elevate service, or power with others.

Whom or what do you worship? Is there harmony between your spirit/life and your congregational professions? We fail at times in the alignment of our spirit/life, and our word and action. Sometimes we are blatantly hypocritical. But do we see it? Do we acknowledge it and self-correct?

Some do not believe in God and may not invest in traditional faith at all. To you I offer the perspective that simply applies to human endeavors: G.O.D.–Guidance, Opportunity, Deliverance–impacts all manner of activity. Who or what guides you? What opportunities invite you? What do circumstances deliver?


If you wish to align your spirit/life and your word and action in order to more effectively respond to challenges, hardships, and adversities, please Contact me, Vanessa Landau, Resiliency Trainer, for Co-Creative Transformation (Resiliency Coaching), and I will guide you in the development of your own optimal experience strategies.

To view other blog entries, click on the left or right titles above the current blog title.

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You Deserve A Medal For That!



The Olympic motto–Citius, Altius, Fortius–means Faster, Higher, Stronger. Every two years in winter and in summer so many of us get swept up in the majesty of the Olympics, at the feats of human athletic performance and the prospect of world records. In every event, the athlete whose performance best exceeds limitation wins a gold medal. Other winners earn silver and bronze medals. But at that level of performance, the difference between first, second, and third place can be a second, an inch, or a pound. And in the case of artistic events, like gymnastics and figure skating, the difference can be technique, artistry, and the defiance of gravity.


In a culture that glorifies competition, rivalries can obscure the salience of an athlete’s personal best. Occasionally, sports commentators who flout the rivalries in competition pause long enough to consider the athletes’ first true calling–to rise to the height of their individual mastery in the context of good sportsmanship. At their personal best, every athlete who plays on the international stage assumes heroic status.


On a resiliency journey, the motto could best be summed up as Better, Smarter, Faster (Siebert, A., Sloan, K., Warschaw, T.) Our personal best becomes pivotal to our heroic evolution. We live lives of heroic proportions–a relationship betrayal, a lost job, a medical diagnosis, a vehicular accident, a victim of criminal activity, a survivor of natural disaster, bereavement. Although we are compared to and judged by others in various scenarios, ultimately we must contend with ourselves. With principles and conscience, we must learn to live with our personal best.


Just as we hail athletes as heroes by virtue of their mastery, so are we heroic by virtue of our finest hours, the personal bests that shape our legacy. With what olympic endeavors do you contend? Select any areas of your life–any role, any decision, any activity. For what olympic endeavors do you deserve a medal?

To view other blog entries, click on the left or right titles above the current blog title.

If you desire the ability to more mindfully approach your personal bests in relationships and experience, please Contact me, Vanessa Landau, Resiliency Trainer, for Co-Creative Transformation–Resiliency Coaching–and I will guide you in making a more heroic journey.

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I Beat the Odds and Won the Lottery



I grew up in a home that was riddled with domestic trauma–verbal, emotional, physical, sexual abuse. Everyday life would unfold around common family activities, and I never knew when the next implosion would come but always tried to anticipate and escape it. Hypervigilent, I faced my daily life in a climate of fear and dread. My parents were ill-equipped to cope with their own experiences and emotional material; they could scarcely manage to rear their four children.


At some point in my teens, I entertained the notion that, if “God” is Love, then Love is “God”. A stream of scenarios occurred to me as I pondered and tested this theory. And I arrived at the supposition that, if I can live from a place of Love, I can align my motivations, outlook, and behavior in accordance with the Universe, and the principles of justice and compassion.


Presently, my view of the “Most High Source” has evolved; it is more complex and less anthropomorphized. But my earlier realization that Love is “God” allowed me to establish an ideal: If I love and love well, then I will fulfill my humanity. The legacy that my parents imparted threatened to skew my perspective and compromise my heart. Yet I learned by doing the opposite of the examples that my parents set. This fact saddens me sometimes, but it proved an excellent strategy for avoiding the perpetuation of a damaging legacy.


I naturally connected with Love because I yearned for it. And I knew, as the Beatles professed in their song, The End, that “the Love we take is equal to the Love we make”. My early experience further taught me that Love, if it is true, must be free and not bargained; otherwise, it is not Love. Later, I heeded the advice that, “when at a crossroads, choose the path toward Love”.


Paying attention to examples of Love in the wide world, I nurtured and preserved myself by focusing on examples that affirmed my learning. Kahlil Gibran’s chapter on Love in The Prophet provided an exquisite jumping off point for meditations on Love early in my life. I have indeed loved. In addition, others have loved me, and my heart has received their gifts. I beat the odds of an upbringing that could have led me to imitate “God”-forsaken examples of human behavior by, instead, attending to the yearnings of my heart and by offering Love as an exercise of good will. I won the lottery in my meditations on Love.


If you desire a way to readily foster Love within yourself and for others, please Contact me, Vanessa Landau, Resiliency Trainer, for Co-Creative Transformation–Resiliency Coaching–and I will guide you in making attitudinal and behavioral changes for the better.

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Is That A $100 Bill On The Floor?

I have a $100 dollar bill for you… if you want it. Yes?

Well, what if I wad it up in a ball. Do you still want it?

Now what if I stomp on it repeatedly with my filthy shoe? Do you still want it?

Finally, what if I tear it in two? Do you still want it?

The reason why we still want the $100 dollar bill is because no matter what abuse it suffers, it retains its inherent worth. And isn’t this so about the human being?

We face insults and rejection. We get our feelings hurt. We endure heartaches. We fail. How ever we experience a diminuation of self, the truth remains that we retain our inherent worth.

What then is the loss of self-esteem subsequent to troubles that shape our life? The illusion that good fortune in life affirm our goodness and bad fortune in life punish our badness defines a “just-world hypothesis.” The reality, in fact, indicates that bad fortune visits good people and good fortune visits bad people. And the only reason why this is so, according to HEROES, pertains to the universal purpose of life–lessons. Nowhere in the process of this universal purpose is there a down-side to high self-esteem; it only reinforces the love, the responsibility, and the healing to ourselves and to others.

No matter what other people may think, say, feel, or do about us, we must safeguard our life by building and never forfeiting our self-esteem. This means, we love ourselves, even as some may neglect us and withhold the emotional nourishment we need. We get our needs met elsewhere. We adhere to values and principles that embody high self-esteem, and find social support to reinforce them. We “walk the talk,” honoring our word to ourselves and to others. In so doing, we foster resiliency and prepare to thrive.

Tell me how you preserve your inherent worth. If you struggle with low self-esteem, I can help. Contact me, Vanessa Landau, Resiliency Trainer, for Co-Creative Transformation (Resiliency Coaching), and I will guide you in the re-emergence of your inherent worth.

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What Makes a Resilient Person Think Well

When, at times, a person asks me what makes me resilient despite an upbringing and youth that was so damaging, I first think about how I was no different than anyone else. I feel the self that is me and feel ordinary in my extraordinari-ness. I believe anyone else in my situation could have responded as I did. But the inquiring person tends toward doubtfulness. Then I consider what made me rise above my circumstances.

First, I knew instinctively that the way I was being treated at home and later at school was wrong. It was not loving and supportive. It was abusive. It disconfirmed my humanity. The way I was treated felt awful, and so I decided that such behavior was the opposite of how I would treat others. I learned a lot by doing the opposite, and it prevented a good deal of heartache on my part. For example, I stayed away from drugs and gangs, vandalism and crime, truancy, and pregnancy. A few key exemplary figures demonstrated kindness, appreciation, and compassion and these influences shaped my principles and values.

Second, I noticed that many people around me insisted that their way of life was correct and anything different was wrong. History is littered with examples of this type of human defensiveness and the wars that breed from such narrow perspectives. As it happens, I became the “identified patient” to my mother, and she did plenty to make me think that I was crazy. She achieved her aim in part as my emotional woundedness prompted me to see myself as flawed. This perspective enabled me to get help to determine out what WAS wrong with me, and this willingness to get help early made it possible for me to address my problems.

Third, I had a great affinity for stories of heroic figures in history. The lives of Helen Keller, Anne Frank, and Martin Luther King, Jr. were among those that spoke to my own desire to embody strength, endurance, power, and other resiliency competencies. Given the challenges, hardships, and adversities that I faced in my youth and young adulthood, I had to leverage my wherewithal to cope with pain; and I often felt that I was not resilient because my lack of ease over-shadowed the ease that ultimately characterize people who are resilient. Now I believe differently: Resiliency is the process that moves us through stages of coping–impairment, succumbing, languishing, synthesis, and thriving.

I have visited all the stages of resiliency according to the H.E.R.O.E.S. model. The challenge is to keep our resiliency status evolving, moving ever upward toward thriving. We all have the native potential to thrive, regardless of how difficult the process. The opportunity for resiliency always exists, and we must find it. And we must know that we are each extraordinary. We are born of free will so that we may be our own HEROES.

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